A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passer by who'd seen everything remarked: "That's very tolerant of you after what he just did."

"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him."

first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could

speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a

big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful

vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chili sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"

MORAL: Gather All Required Information Before Working On Any Project...

Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference.

At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them.

How are you going to travel on a single ticket?. asked a lawyer.

Wait and watch,. answered one of the engineers.

When they boarded the train, the lawyers took their seats, but the thre e engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived.

He knocked on the toilet door and asked, .Ticket please.. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The ticket collector took it and moved on. Seeing this, the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip.

So when they got to the station, they bought only one ticket.

To their astonishment, the engineers didn.t buy any. .How are you going to travel without a ticket?. asked one of the perplexed lawyers.

Wait and watch,. answered an engineer.

In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby.

Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding.

He knocked on the door and said, .Ticket, please..